How many of us are guilty of it? Trying desperately to impress someone else? We have the best of intentions. We try and look and BE our best. But does our self-esteem hinge on what someone else thinks? As social creatures, a lot of the time it does. How many of us put on makeup and fix our hair for ourselves? We do it so we look good to others. (Personally, I have been know to do it just to stay home on occasion. So I won't say no one does.) When that backfires, it's a huge blow to our self-esteem. Can you imagine being told straight out that you're really an ugly girl?
As I mentioned in my Silent All These Years post, I have put on over one hundred pounds because of the medication I have to take to keep my sanity. I am a (cringe) size eighteen. I eat healthy and I walk everywhere I go, so I get plenty of exercise. I know I'm doing all I can to get the weight back off and that it happens to be the meds. Abilify is documented to cause excessive weight gain in some. Still, it hurts like hell to be called a cow or a pig, which I have been by some insensitive pricks. My self-esteem takes a major hit when that happens, even though I have a good sense of self-esteem.
So what can one do to get away from our sense of self-worth hinging on what others think? If I ever figure that out, I will tell you. I do know some ways to improve self-esteem. This one is a challenge, and I'd like everyone to try it: make a list of twenty good things about yourself. I made it to twelve and that was with the help of my friends. As I mentioned, I have a good sense of self-esteem, but this is a difficult one to do. I'll even start you out, you are unique. There's only one you in the world. Even if you happen to be an identical twin, there's no one who thinks exactly the way you do, no one who shares your unique fingerprint. (and it's true that while twins share DNA, they have different fingerprints.)
So how many did you get? I hope you were able to come up with twenty. Now, keep that list, and whenever you get a blow, refer back to it. You are not really an ugly girl (or guy), you are beautiful because you are you!